Something poignant I read today...

So music speaks to me, quite often in fact. And I know I've mentioned that before. But I also love to read. I always have. Books of all kinds, and a lot of poetry.

I came across something today while I was reading that literally took my breath away.

I feel like I have a really hard time explaining how I feel sometimes, which is a problem I never used to have. I'd like to think it's because my feelings are much more complex now than they were when I was younger, but I think it's at least in part because my relationships are much more complex now than when I was younger. And not necessarily in a good way.

But this passage I read today says everything I could or should ever want to say about how I felt most recently. And how I feel about love, in general. I tried to explain this to someone once, to try to make him understand where I was coming from, but I don't think it every quite got through. There are parts of this that I almost said verbatim to him, which is kind of freaky. It goes:

"There comes a point where you just love someone. Not because they’re good, or bad, or anything really. You just love them. It doesn’t mean you’ll be together forever. It doesn’t mean you won’t hurt each other. It just means you love them. Sometimes in spite of who they are, and sometimes because of who they are. And you know that they love you, sometimes because of who you are, and sometimes in spite of it."

Yes. Real love doesn't mean you'll be together forever. It doesn't mean you won't hurt each other. But real love, true love, pure love endures. It's stronger than pain, anger, shame, and embarrassment. It's the greatest thing that exists in this life. Real, true, pure love is what a parent feels for a child, and it's possible between two people, as well. The only real shame in it is that it doesn't always happen mutually, in one relationship. That's the only time that true love fails. When one partner feels it but the other one doesn't.

But it does exist. I've felt it. In spite of him. In spite of myself. And I hope to feel it again. But the real, true, pure love I felt for him is what made me forgive him. Made me turn the other cheek. Look the other way. And that pure love is what pushes me to be a better person now. To rise above the anger, the sadness, the frustration and bad feelings and live a life of happiness and hope. Because somewhere out there is a person who will feel about me the way I felt about him. I know it will happen, and that makes me very happy and hopeful!

Just wanted to share that little bit. Might blog more tonight about Tyler. He's been a huge part of everything that's been going on lately, and why I'm doing so well, so he deserves some space, so to speak. Until then...