At least the weather fits the mood...

What a horrible Monday. A terrible, horrible, shitsucking day.

Of course, the weather sucks. I feel like it's been raining forever. And while I enjoy a good rain, I absolutely hate winter rain. The kind of rain that's dark, damp, chilly, and soaks you to the bone, even when it's not raining hard.

And of course, I had to be out in it. Not just once, either. I wish I were in the mood to give all the dirty details of what went down today, but I just don't have it in me. I feel so emotionally and mentally exhausted right now.

Let's just say it went about as bad as could be expected. The ex husband tried to be clever. Thought he was super tricky, but he forgets that this is real life and the school calls BOTH parents when it's clear one is trying to go behind the other's back.

See, the problem is, when you're doing things the wrong way, and for the wrong reason, you're never going to get very far. Or, "win", as he would put it. The bigger problem is, there is no true winner in this war. Just a kid being torn apart.

The only thing I'll say for today is that he was told, again, by more authoritative figures, that they will not force a child in middle school to go anywhere he doesn't want to go. Even if his father tries to drag him out by his coat. (I wish I were kidding).

Tyler's here with me tonight, but it doesn't feel like a "win". I know he loves his dad, but I also know he doesn't want to be around him, or in their home. And I don't blame him in the least. As I told everyone today, I am just trying desperately to be the one adult Tyler can count on, rely, trust, and so on. I told him I would be there today to pick him up when he asked me to be, so I was. And I told him no one would make him leave with his dad, so I was going to make sure that happened. I feel like that's the least I could do, as his mom.

So that's the mini update on that situation. I feel like I have so many balls in the air right now. I need to get so much accomplished, but he has to be my number one focus. I don't have guilt about that, but it's frustrating that I feel like there are so many things that need to be done and aren't getting done. ARGH.

The one good thing that got accomplished, and that was I fixed my string lights in my living room window. Relied on the good ol' fashioned "jiggle". I thought, you know, before I take this entire string down, let me just see if I can...*jiggle jiggle* VOILA! They worked. So I left them alone and now I have a full, working string of lights. It's a small victory on a day like today, but it's the little things that count :)

So that's about all I have energy to type tonight. Goodnight and sweet dreams!