It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

Well. Three inches of snow (give or take) and temps that TOP OUT in the teens- feels like winter to me! What a perfect day to stay inside and watch some football!

Tyler and I spent the whole day in jammie pants and slippers, eating snacks, had the heater running full blast, watching football! It really was the perfect day. We even both took a nap this afternoon! It's days like today that make me really happy with my life and my choices.

I know the last time I posted things weren't great. And they're still not perfect. But, like I suspected, things seem to have leveled off, at least for the time being.

Tyler is still with me. It's been almost three weeks now. His father tried to circumvent the legal system by using the school to his advantage. However, with some diligent work on my part, and common sense on the school's part, they decided they weren't going to tolerate that and instead, chose to both respect and listen to Tyler's feelings and wishes, and ask his father to work things out somewhere else. It isn't the school's responsibility to act as the intermediary, and it isn't the place to hold daily showdowns over where Tyler is going after school.

So, Tyler and I were braced for some resistance from his dad after school on Friday, but interestingly, nothing happened. He didn't try to intervene when Tyler came to my car, he didn't call or text me after we got in the car and left, and we haven't heard from him since. At all. Which is strange to me. I know I've said this before, but I think I would at least try to call Tyler every day. Even if he didn't answer, I would want to make an attempt. But his father hasn't. Not once. I don't get that. But that's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to differences with his father;s and my parenting styles and priorities.

But, all I care about is that Tyler says he is happy. I don't think that him avoiding his dad is a good long term solution. And right now, he's saying he doesn't even want to SEE his dad for Christmas. Hopefully, we can find some way to work around that. But frankly, if his dad doesn't contact me/Tyler about it, should I even push for it? I mean, I'm a firm believer in treat others as you would want to be treated, but if it isn't important enough for him to reach out, should I even bother? I don't know how I feel about the whole thing. I guess we'll just take it one day at a time and see how things go.

I am concerned, though, that even if we would come to some sort of an agreement about him taking Tyler for a few hours, or a day, that he would do something to avoid returning him. Either I would go to pick him up and they wouldn't be there, or he wouldn't bring him back here, etc. And I think that's the primary thing Tyler is concerned about, too. He doesn't want to risk his father lying to him, again. Telling him something that isn't true just to get what he wants, instead of considering what Tyler wants. I guess we'll see.

But I am getting really excited for Christmas. It looks like my dad will be coming up. I am trying to convince him to spend at least one night here with us, but he's so stubborn. And Tyler, on his own, made some changes to his Christmas wish list, so now it looks like I'll be able to get him the things he wants, and it will be more than just a couple of expensive things. I'm just happy to be able to afford a few nice things for him. A couple weeks ago, I wasn't so sure.

And I got to spend time with two of my oldest friends on Friday night. The girls I grew up next door to, and literally grew up with, invited me out with them. It was awesome talking and catching up and reminiscing. And it's funny how much we have in common, and how similar our personalities and interests are, even now. Even after all these years. Even after we haven't really been together much in a very long time.

While talking with them, we all shared a lot of things that have happened to us over the years. Of course there have been some good, and even some great, things. But we all have experienced a lot of loss, a lot of pain, a lot of hard times. And we all expressed how there were points that we wished we had someone real, someone we trusted, someone to talk to. It so sad when you're going through Hell and you feel like you aren't sure you have anyone to talk to. I just hope that now, now that we have all come so far and been through so much, that we really make a solid effort to not lose touch again. And ultimately, I hope that I impressed upon them both that even IF we don't stay close now, or in the future, that they know they can ALWAYS find me and I will ALWAYS be there for them, no matter what has happened or is happening. I think everyone needs someone like that in their lives.

And I don't know where I would be or WHO I would be if they had not been there for me so many times over so many years. Those girls know things about me that no one else every has, or ever will. I always wanted a sister when I was younger. It's just too bad that I didn't realize I already had two amazing sisters right next door! I love you girls!

If there is someone in your life that you appreciate, it's never too late to tell them. And no one has ever complained about being told how loved and appreciated they are! And if it's been awhile, the holidays are a great time to rekindle a relationship that has been lost, strained, or taken for granted. Happy holidays :)