You gotta have faith!

I'm going to try to make this short and sweet. Not that I don't have a lot to say on this topic. In fact, I probably have too much to say. But I am tired, and I still have to dry my hair :(

This is a post I have been wanting to do for a couple of days. I have been going back and forth about whether to get super in depth about it, or try to keep it general and vague. I think I'll try to split the difference.

It's interesting, because the things that have been happening in my life very recently have brought up a lot of thoughts about faith. Talking with my childhood friends over the weekend brought up the topic, too. And then tonight, someone was asking me about my religious views.

Let me just say: I am not a religious person. Now, I want to be very clear: I do not intend to or want to take away from anyone else's religion or faith. It's just my own personal experience and values. I AM, however, a very spiritual person. While I lean toward agnostic in terms of the existence of God, I do firmly believe in things like angels, spirits, ghosts, the after life, etc. I just do not believe there has to be a God in order for those things to exist. Again, personal beliefs. I am not trying to influence anyone who might be reading this.

I think about faith a lot when things are difficult in my life. I know when times are very tough, a lot of people pray, talk to God, etc. I don't. I do talk to a very close friend of mine who died, though. He was one of the closest people I have ever had in my life, and when I am going through tough times, I talk to him. Now, I don't know if he plays any part in the things that happen to me to help me get out of my difficult places in life, but I choose to believe he does. Maybe I'm just speaking/thinking out loud and thereby resolving the issues myself. But truthfully, he was one of the most generous and giving people I ever knew, and I know that if he is capable of helping me, he does. And I suppose that talking to him about my problems helps me in the same way that it might help someone who prays or talks to God. Please don't misunderstand, I am not comparing my deceased friend to God, but only the act of communicating with someone you believe loves you and has your best interest at heart.

In a weird way, talking to him makes me feel like things will be ok. And they usually are. In most instances, things don't necessarily resolve themselves in the manner I think they might, but they do resolve themselves. And I do believe that he has something to do with that. I feel he is, in a way, my angel. He looks out for me, he's there for me, and he helps me when he knows I need it. And I am so grateful to have known him and to have him in my life, even now.

But in that same vein, I do also believe that everything happens for a reason. I feel he leads me in certain directions to my benefit. It's hard, sometimes, to remain open minded and try to wait out the results. I am a very impatient person when it comes to things happening that aren't clear, but I do try to let things happen the way they need to, on their own timeframe. That, for me, is having faith.

It's having faith in the world, having faith in destiny, having faith in my friend and the directions he leads me. I do think that we have the ability to alter the course of our lives, in the same way we might read a "you choose the adventure" book. We are presented with circumstances and options every day. Some are minor (McDonald's or Taco Bell for lunch?), and some are major (stay in a hurtful relationship, or bail out?). But I do think that the choices we make help lead us in the direction we need to go. If we make the wrong choice, we know it, sooner or later. There are tangible consequences to making the wrong choice. We might lose a job, get a bad stomachache from lunch, lose time and dignity by staying with the wrong partner, etc. When that happens, we are faced with another choice. And so on, and so on.

My life motto is "The person you are isn't based on the mistakes you make; rather how you handle them". Because we all make mistakes. Every day. Large and small. I think healthy adults admit to their mistakes and are proactive in fixing them. Emotionally damaged adults (and the majority of children- ie: emotionally immature people) lie, hide, deceive, and avoid admitting to and resolving mistakes they make. I have had my fair share of those people in my life. I think you have to have faith in yourself and faith in what's right in order to be the adult and admit to and resolve your mistakes. Emotionally immature people have no self confidence and no confidence in their ability to correct or resolve matters they have brought upon themselves and others. Their fear drives them to lie and cover up, to deny and deceive, even when they can see the damage it's causing. They have no faith.

I have faith. I have an abundance of faith. I choose to believe that, despite the things that have happened to me in my life, both long since past, very recent, and everything in between, that things will get better. That there is better for me out there. The bad things that have happened did happen for a reason, and I look to them as learning experiences. I would not be who I am today without every event that has happened in my life. I wouldn't know what I know now without every mistake and experience I have had. I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. I know that things happened the way they were meant to. I have faith in this world and, more importantly, in myself.

I will continue to have faith, although it might be much different from yours, or the next person to read this post. But I don't think that makes one type better than the other. I think faith is a deeply personal endeavor, and incredibly individual. My faith suits me perfectly, as does yours for you.

I hope that we can live in a world that becomes more tolerant of differences in faith, be they religion or personal beliefs. If people weren't so afraid to embrace their faith, we might all be a little more at peace with ourselves and our lives.

I just wanted to touch on faith today, because I think things have started to look up for us again, and I attribute that, at least in part, to having faith. I don't ever give up, quit, or let difficulties bring me down or cause me to lose my faith. I hope that your faith brings you comfort, as well. In good times, and especially in bad.